For the most part, I felt that my self-evaluation matched well with those who evaluated me. I am aware that I have communication anxiety in public speaking and large group situations. I think what surprised me most was that those who evaluated me scored me a bit higher in competence in this level. Perhaps I am more effective than I think, or maybe we are just more critical of ourselves. Of course I am aware I am anxious but possibly this is not as apparent to those who I present to. In terms of verbal aggressiveness I fell in the moderate category in all cases. I also scored fairly well in listening although there was indication that I trust too much. In the second two surveys my colleagues scored me equa with my own. My colleagues also choose to evaluate themselves for fun. I was interested to find that they scored similar to me as well. Those one who did score with less communication anxiety also grew up as one of 5 sisters and was a performer. It was insightful to consider maybe even a larger family may help us feel comfortable speaking to groups. I found it interesting when reading the text this week that we can become aware of our own mindlessness by certain signs such as reduced cognitive activity and inaccurate recall. I also found it insightful that we can sabotage our own communication through self-denigration. This information can be helpfully to me professionally by reminding me to be cognizant in meeting with faculty and to use positive thought in self-preparation for speaking engagements.

                In general I do not find myself communicating differently with people in different cultures or different groups. I typically am just myself and try to speak to everyone in a respectful manner. One exception would be that I do speak differently to the children in the center than I would to an adult. I think every good childcare educator has a “child speak”, from the words “walking feet please”, to getting down on the child’s level and using a pleasant tone. Of course when I am in situations where I do not know anyone I can initially be quieter than with friends and family. I have been lucky in my travels that many of the places I visited have spoken English and I was able to communicate fairly well. The slang can certainly be different and confusing and I have experienced a bit of culture shock but not to the degree that is severely hindered communication.

For this week’s blog assignment we were asked to watch a television show we had never seen without sound and try and determine relationships by the nonverbal communication we saw. After doing so we were to watch it again with sound and see how our assumptions matched up. The show I chose to watch is Heart of Dixie. In the opening scene as the main character makes a graduation commencement speech we see her finishing and talking to a man in a suit who approached her. I understood this man to be a Professor in the college. The man seems to be proud of the graduate. After speaking with him she was approached by an older woman who seemed proud and hugged her. I assumed that this was her mother. After the ceremony the main character leaves with a man who has his arm around her, I guessed that this was her boyfriend. As she begins her career in medicine we see her again in conversation with a man weaning scrubs, I took this to be a coworker of hers. The older gentleman Doctor in the next scene I assume is her boss. In this conversation she seems to be very angry at the man or frustrated. I imagine her voice is raised and she has taken offense to something he has said. Later we see the woman leaving the city and taking a bus into the country. She appears to be very bored on this voyage. She also appears to be disgusted by the man sitting next to her on the bus. As she gets off the bus and begins walking to town we see a man, I assume a stranger in a pick-up truck who offers her a ride. This man seems to pleasantly surprise her while the other people she will meet in the country don’t seem to accept her. Once in town she is watched by a group of women in southern belle costumes and a group of older ladies who seem to be disdainful or gossipy about her arrival. It is apparent the character is out of place and she seems to be sad and tired. She enters a practice and is met by a receptionist.

                When watched again with sound I found that a lot of my assumptions were not far off the mark. The man I thought was the Professor however was a Dr., who had a practice in a small town and was offering the main character a job. Her mother was the woman who hugged her after the speech but was not as proud as she was interested in seeing who else was there she could talk to. She actually brushed her daughter off fairly quickly. The man she left the ceremony with was her boyfriend but so was the younger man I took to be her coworker. In this instance it was actually her boyfriend breaking up was with her. The gentleman who picked her up was not only a nice stranger but an attorney who had worked in New York, a point I would not have guessed with the sound off. The main character was in fact disgusted by the man on the bus next to her stating he “smells like stinky cheese” She was in fact angry at her boss as he passed her over for a fellowship because she was giving or caring enough to her patients. As she moved to the country to accept the only job offer she had she was feeling lost and out of place.

                This was an interesting activity, I was surprised at how much of the story line I could glean without words. Had this been a show I am familiar with I would have already known the relationships and would likely have had an even better understanding of the plot.

When I consider a person whose communication style I admire in terms of professionalism in my field, the person that comes to mind is Stephanie Andraisi. Stephanie was the Director of Children’s Ministries and the head of the Early Childhood Education board at the church where I held my first Director’s position. As a young Director and particularly one who was not strong in confrontation or communication I always admired how Stephanie was calm, cool and collected even in stressful situation. I can recall times when I would sit in her office in tears after speaking with a family who had a concern about the school. When we had a round of layoffs due to budget cuts in our center Stephanie sat with me as I had to let faculty go. Stephanie was a calming presence to the teachers when I had to take frequent teary breaks. Stephanie was very collected and knew exactly what to say. Even years later I am not at able to emulate her communication style completely although experience has gotten me closer.

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I will be able to teach them that we all have value and our diversity should be appreciated, celebrated and that we all have wonderful things to contribute. One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field in regards to diversity and social justice is that it will be a topic and continued conversation that will encourage all educators to evolve their programs to meet the needs of every student to the best of their ability. I would like to thank my colleagues for the kind words about my dialogues, encouragement and sharing your personal experiences on these topics.

A memory I have where I witnessed bias took place when I was about twelve years old and living in the small town of Exmouth, Australia. Having traveled a lot around the country I had been exposed to members of the Aboriginal  tribes and learned about their history and traditions. The small town I lived in was primarily Caucasian of Irish background and an Aboriginal family had recently moved there as well. The family had two children. While at the pool I noticed the children were basically shunned and did not join any of the other students. I also heard several adults openly spoke disdainfully and prejudicial of the Aboriginal family. I found this strange as I had associated the aboriginal peoples as eh heart of the country and those who most belonged. This diminished equity by marginalizing  the family and potentially hurting the children's esteem and confidence. I recall feeling very sad and offended for the children but at twelve I didn't step in or do anything to welcome them myself. I think I was unsure of what the next step was and I was bothered by my own lack of assistance. If I could go back, I would have invited the children to join me and done what I could to help them feel included.

An example of microagression I observed this week was when a person commented that one mom in a lesbian partnership at our center was certainly the man of the relationship. The comment was made randomly as the couple had left the building. I was offended by the comment for the couple and I felt that it was ignorant and rude.

                This observation showed that the person making the comment obviously had stereotypical views regarding relationships, assuming that there had to be a masculine and feminine person in a couple. It also seemed that the comment was hostile and the person commenting was judgmental or not tolerant of the lesbian partnership. I felt this observation would have been very hurtful had the couple heard. I was surprised to see a discriminatory view projected so openly as in the day and age we expect more consideration.